I'm a pretty anxious person by nature and this is something I wanted to try and break out of whilst travelling. I found myself frustrated so often that I was getting anxious or overwhelmed about silly things and struggling to live in the moment.

Recently, I was working in a hostel and one of the hosts had the philosophy to 'just breathe' when bad things happened and this really resonated with me. I wanted to build this into my own life, and yes, it did work! But not always, which in turn helped me with the bigger picture of my self-reflections.

Absolutely, when things go wrong, sometimes it is best to just breathe and it sorts itself out. And this helped me in situations where the buses went wrong or plans changed and I tried my best to breathe and calm myself down first to think of solutions, or sometimes things just sorted themselves out.

What was most important for me to realise though, was that actually it is okay to feel anxious, stressed, sad and overwhelmed about things. Travelling is a LOT. You are constantly on the go, things are likely to go wrong in so many instances, plans are always changing, and the reality is it's just never going to be as smooth as you would like. But then we can apply that to everyday life as well. 

I was so worried about not being anxious or I was busy beating myself up for getting upset and overwhelmed about things, that I forgot that it is normal to feel those emotions. Although I'm not sure who originally said this idea or where it has come from, I love the concept that it is beautiful that we feel all these emotions. It is a gift to feel joy and love, but it is also a gift to feel upset, overwhelmed, anxious and angry. We get to live this human experience feeling the intensity of a range of emotions. The joy can't come without the bad parts.

So, I've reworked the philsophy, and I'm going to continue to try and do this both in my travels, but also when I'm back in normal life too. I've realised it is all about learning to distinguish between situations where it is okay to feel overwhelmed, upset, anxious or angry and situations where you just need to breathe, reframe your mindset and find solutions and/or the positives. 

Sometimes, things go wrong and you can be frustrated at that. But it's important to not sit in that emotion. Take the time have a cry, and then breathe, and move past it or look for solutions.

It's easier said than done, but I'm working on differentiating between anxious gut feelings that keep me safe and that I should trust, and anxious 'gut' feelings where my mind is just working on overdrive. This is when I need to reframe my mindset.

And that comes to the final part of this reflection. That self-reflection isn't a one and done thing. I've realised so many things about myself, but just because I've realised that, doesn't mean I've changed it, that I know how to, or in some cases that I have the strength to. yet. And for those journeys that I've started, they still have a long way to go.

The original post that I mentioned at the start, it will come. Maybe at the end of these adventures. Or, maybe a long time in the future. Self-reflection and change is a long journey, but I'm excited to see how it pans out.

Meg x