Guilt might not be a word we typically associate when travelling. Sure some of us might get the fleeting feeling of guilt when away from work because our capitalist society has told us that work is a priority, or maybe we feel guilt over a missed event with friends or the money we have spent. Ultimately though, travel and guilt aren't often synonymous, and when they are, we tend to feel even more guilt that we felt that guilt whilst on a fun adventure; a vicious circle. 

Abbie Bernet on Unsplash

As a society, it's important that we speak about these things more and feel open to admit that negative feelings can come alongside amazing adventures and, most importantly, that that's okay and normal!

The reality is that we get ourselves all hyped up for a holiday, and things don't always turn out how we want, or we realised that just because we're lounging on a beach in Santorini, or roaming the streets of Rome, or hiking Macchu Pichu, doesn't mean that the rest of our lives and emotions just disappear. 

Travel guilt comes in lots of forms and many of which I have experienced in two weeks already of solo travelling. A backpacking trip certainly lends itself to guilt because you spend so little time in places and are constantly on the go that you hardly let yourself stop, and when you do you feel bad about.

So when do we often experience this guilt and how should we handle it?

Travel Tiredness

Travelling is exhausting. We think because we're not doing our usual 9-5 that we'll feel refreshed abroad but that is so rarely the case, especially on a sightseeing holiday. After two weeks travelling around Italy and clocking in a minimum of 20k steps a day, I am shattered. And on so many nights during those two weeks I have felt tired and like I cannot possibly do anymore sightseeing. You might have booked one of those super cheap 7am Ryanair flights thinking 'this is a great idea, cheap and we get the whole day to explore' only to find that once you get there and you've wandered around for a few hours, all you want is your bed. We did this in Milan but we allowed ourselves a nap and we felt a world of difference later and were actually able to enjoy the rest of our trip. Whilst we initially felt guilty, we definitely dealt with it the right way. 

At first you feel bad, but it's so important to actually have rest days. Whether that's taking a bus to find the nearest beach, or even just staying at your accommodation and having a lie in or spending the day just reading and watching TV - that's okay. Yes, you have spent money going there, but you still need to take care of yourself. It's natural to feel tired when you are not only doing a lot, possibly in the heat, but you are also in a new place and that can be overwhelming in itself. No matter the trip, always build in a rest day (or at least half a day). The place you are in will still be there later and you'll probably enjoy it more after a nap. 

Beaches are a great place to sleep off that early morning flight.  Gouves, Crete.

Overly Ambitious Plans

We're all guilty of this. Getting excited by all the fantastic sites to see, walks to go on and places to eat at this new destination we've never been to before, only to find when we get there that there is no possible way to squeeze it in. Whether it's due to tiredness, distance, money or things being closed, it is incredibly hard to do everything in one trip. This is especially true if you are backpacking and you thought you could squeeze all of Rome into a day or the Amalfi Coast into two because you are so excited to travel all over Europe. Naturally, things go wrong or it takes longer than we thought it would to get between A and B or it turns out it's too expensive to climb the duomo, see the bell tower and the gallery whilst also enjoying luxurious wines and pasta. It's okay to cut things out of your carefully researched itinerary. You'll find that you actually enjoy a city more when you aren't rushing around following an itinerary to a T, but instead soaking in two or three beautiful sights, eating the local cuisine and relaxing. Sometimes part of travelling is simply the joy of being part of another culture for a moment. If you're lucky you might one day be able to return and tick off more of your list. For now, sit back, relax, and enjoy it. 

Money

Travelling is always more expensive than we expect it to be. No matter how carefully you budget, unexpected costs always crop up. Whether it's a wrong bus or delayed flight that now requires a taxi, an inability to find cheap places to eat, or the toursity things cost more than you thought, it's unavoidable. The nature of travelling means we often want to do everything that is there to do because we don't know if we'll ever be able to go back. And of course, you've spent your hard earned money to get there so now you want to make the most of it. But the financial burden can be a lot to bear, especially with the cost of living. It's okay to decide not to go into all the churches because it's cost too much or you miss out on a gallery. So you didn't climb Eiffel Tower or the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it's still an amazing piece of history and culture to witness in front of you. What if you were desperate to see the once in a lifetime views or sunsets that they offer? You don't always need to pay money for that. Find a viewpoint or a hike to go on, or even a nice stretch of grass that looks across to the horizon. You can still enjoy a sunset from the ground, and a city when you're at its level. So many cities offer so many tourist sites for free that you can still experience the culture without spending a cent. Whether you're feeling guilty about how much you have spent, or feeling guilty that you've been tight with cash so missed out, remember that both feelings are valid but as long as you have enjoyed the place you are in, then that is all that matters.

Sightseeing doesn't have to be expensive! Lake Como, Italy.

Mental Health

One of the hardest things to realise and then accept when you're travelling, is that negative feelings and poor mental health don't just disappear because you're now in an exotic location, seemingly away from your problems. Often, this then means we end up feeling guilty that we can't even enjoy ourselves when we're away because we're still stressed over things or obsessing over something that happened months ago or that our anxiety has gotten worse. As solo travellers will no doubt tell you, it is hard on your emotional wellbeing; you are with your own thoughts almost 24/7 and you have to be prepared to deal with emotions and thoughts you've likely repressed for weeks or months beforehand because they are all going to crop up when suddenly you are less distracted than you were. But this is all about the beauty of travelling too. Don't feel guilty that you are still feeling weighed down and overthinking situations from the past, or you're overly worrying about every little detail. Emotional change from travelling does come, but it takes time. And negativity and the nature of being human doesn't disappear because you crossed an ocean. Process your emotions, sit in them for a moment, and then move on. Go out and enjoy the beautiful sights of the country you are in.